A calm has settled over me lately. This is not to say that I do not feel anxious at times, nor am without restlessness or urges to do more. Those moments and experiences are mostly a result of the legacy of narcissistic abuse and trauma (and who knows how much influence comes from culture). I […]
Angelica — a painting I made in 2005 — hangs in our bedroom, that of my husband and me. She always has. Originally and often, she was placed above the bed, acting as headboard and spiritual guide of our lives. Later, we wanted to be able to see her and contemplate her more, so we […]
Recently, I remembered a recurring daydream I’ve had for most of my adult life. It is a of a breezy summer day. I am sitting on a swing that hangs above an expansive and open porch of a maybe-old home. The floor is made of wood planks, and the porch is shadowed by a deep […]
It was a along-ago friend, who years ago told me of his efforts to write letters to his very young son, that made me think about writing love letters to my daughter. Like moving beyond a “baby book,” or carrying on past the cutesy infant and toddler years, the point was to write letters to […]
I wear aprons, like, often. It’s become a thing for me, like the old mamas from, say, anywhere in time and place. I never thought I’d be that lady, wearing an apron atop my other clothes as something I do regularly — not to stay clean, but rather to stay warm. And comforted. All day, […]
My husband makes me coffee every morning. Unless he is ill or away — both rare occasions — he has practiced this morning ritual for years. There had been a morning routine of grinding whole beans using a standard electric grinder for our respective coffee preferences: his an Aeropress, mine a Moka pot. Everyday he […]
A little while back, my friend, Michelle, passed away. “Passed away.” Sounds kind of funny, because she didn’t really pass away: my friend, Michelle, definitely moved on — she died — but didn’t pass away. In fact, shortly after I learned of her passing, I felt a deep sense of relief and knowing. She had […]